Tales of a Vampire Wizard
by SportsFan5000
Summary: I know what you're thinking, because I have telekinesis, lol. A wizard at Hogwarts, who is also a vampire, oh dear, is this going to be another My Immortal story? Well, no, I can assure you that it will not be another My Immortal story. However, it is going to be worse, much worse.
1. Chapter 1

I was your average guy.

Okay, maybe not so average, considering that I was the living undead.

No, wait, the living dead, yes, the living dead. Weird oxymoron if I've ever heard one.

Oxymorons are amusing, alone together, act naturally, found missing.

It seems as though I have gone off on a tangent.

Anyway, as I was saying, I was your average guy, except for the fact that I was the living dead.

That's not all though, see, when I was born, it was to a wizarding family, who in turn sold me to a vampire couple.

Then, after the vampire couple had me in their clutches, they turned me into a creature of the night!

It may seem odd, that something that is dead can still age. It's a mystery to me too!

From what I know, we age normally until our voices change for males, and for females, well, that information is a bit more private.

After that, our aging process slows down A LOT.

Back to the story of well, me!

When I was about seven, my vamp parents decided that they didn't want me anymore, because they woke up one day, and decided they wanted a girl.

It all turned out to be okay in the end, because around the same time, my wizard parents came looking for me.

It turned out, that they couldn't have anymore kids.

Now, here I am, four years later, standing in the Great Hall of Hogwarts, waiting to be sorted.

It was a bit weird, I expected everyone to either run in fear, or stare in awe, or even try to kill me, but instead, their attention wasn't focused on me at all.

I could kind of see why though, the Great Hall was amazing! It was bigger than my whole house, and there were even ghosts floating around.

Heh, I wonder what would happen if someone were to use a Ouija board in this place?

"Boswick, Brutus!"

Oh wow! The sorting was starting, luckily, my surname started with a N, so it was pretty far down on the list.

I turned my attention to where the sorting hat was, to see a pudgy boy with blond hair sitting on the stool.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Lame, if I was sorted into Hufflepuff, I think I'd just die," came a cocky voice from behind me.

I don't know exactly what compelled me to do it, but I whipped around and said.

"Well, here's to hoping you get sorted into Hufflepuff then!"

After that, everyone cheered, and Headmistress McGonagall came up and said.

"Ten points for whatever house you get sorted into for standing up for a classmate!"

Actually, none of that happened, I turned around to face the jerk, but then he gave me the death glare, and after that well, I just couldn't get any words to come out.

"Dingweed, Earl!"

I held back a snort at that name, and when the jerk started walking up to the sorting hat, I was unable to hold back the snort any longer.

Thankfully, no one heard.

Well, if they heard, they didn't show that they had heard.

Please put him in Hufflepuff, please put him in Hufflepuff.

I silently pleaded, as I looked up at the jerk, Earl.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Well, who didn't see THAT one coming?

"Malvarma, Isla!"

Wow, Ms already? I hadn't realised that I had zoned out for that long.

A girl with black, chin length hair, walked up to the sorting hat.

After what seemed like a gazillion years, the hat finally yelled.

"GRYFFINDOR! "

"Nightshade, Porter!"

I waited to see who would walk up to the sorting hat, but then I realised, that was MY name.

Oh my gosh!

If my heart could beat, I was sure it would be pounding like a bass drum right now.

"Nightshade, Porter?" McGonagall called again, looking around for me.

It's now or never, you can do this! I slowly walked to the sorting hat, I had to keep reminding myself to put one foot in front of the other.

Then, before I knew it, I was there, standing in front of the stool.

"Ahhh!"

I jumped slightly, I wasn't expecting the sorting hat to start talking to me as soon as he was placed on my head. In fact, I wasn't expecting him to talk to me at all, I hadn't heard him talking to the other kids.

"We haven't had a student like you before."

Wow, really? I had no idea.

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit you know?"

"But the highest form of intelligence," I muttered, finishing the quote by Oscar Wilde, that he was referring to.

"I think I have finally decided on a house for you...RAVENCLAW!"

Loud cheers sounded around the Great Hall as I made my way to the Ravenclaw table.

I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't believe it, they were actually cheering for me, they were actually happy to have me in their house. Someone so different from them.

I had a feeling that this was going to be the start of a beautiful year.


	2. Chapter 2

"What has rivers but no water, cities but no buildings, forests but no trees, deserts but no sand, and mountains but no rocks?"

"Map," I responded, answering the riddle to get into the Ravenclaw common room.

"Wow, that's all it takes to get in here? Like that was hard, I'm surprised Ravenclaw hasn't had more break ins before!" a girl said from behind me.

"Well, not everyone is as smart as us so.." another girl said.

Not wanting to stick around, because really, no one likes a Nosey Nelly, I ventured further into the common room, feeling a breeze of air as I did so.

Wow.

This place looked amazing! The ceiling was painted to look just like the night sky.

Lucky for me, it wasn't the actual sky. Vampires don't actually burn in the sunlight, but we are highly sensitive to it.

"So, you're the vampire right? Looks like I won the bet!" a boy called from one of the arm chairs. He had curly brown hair, and glasses that took up nearly his whole face.

"Yeah, that's me, glad you noticed."

"I'm glad you got sorted into Ravenclaw, you just won me a new broomstick."

"And how exactly did I do that?"

He chuckled and took off his glasses, huffing on them, before wiping them on his shirt, and putting them back on.

"Well, you see, I made a bet with Wayne, he's from Slytherin, anyway, when we heard that a vampire was going to be attending Hogwarts, I made a bet that they would be in Ravenclaw, because vampires are known to be intelligent, and he made a bet that they would be in Slytherin for obvious reasons. Anyway, Wayne's family promised to send him a new broom before the start of quidditch season, and he bet me that if I won, then I'd get his new broom!"

"And if he won?"

"Then I'd have to do his homework for him for the rest of the year."

"Interesting."

Honestly, I couldn't picture this boy playing quidditch, but you couldn't always judge a book by its cover. I should know that better than anyone.

"Hey Gilderoy, are you bugging the new kid?" a girl with moss green hair asked.

"My name is Gilderoy, my parents named me after Gilderoy Lockhart, they idolize him, man, they were sooo happy that I got sorted into the same house as him," the boy said with a wistful sigh.

"Ugh, I hate to burst your bubble, but you know he's a fraud right? He didn't actually do all those things he claimed to do, and he was totally self centered!" the girl exclaimed.

Gilderoy shrugged.

"He was still really attractive though."

"Ooh does someone have a crush?" the girl teased.

I decided to let them carry on their banter without me, I wasn't adding much to the conversation, and I felt awkward just standing there like some bump on the log.

Instead, I decided to go check out where I would be sleeping. The room was pretty much the same color scheme as the common room, blue and bronze, and the beds had quilts with the Ravenclaw symbol on them.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, I can't believe I'm actually at Hogwarts!" a boy exclaimed.

He was short, like, a full head shorter than me, he had hair the colour of a burnt lemon, and a light pink face.

When his eyes fell on me, he gasped, and backed up against the wall.

"P-Please d-don't hurt me, I mean no harm!"

He sank down to the floor, and covered his head with his hands.

Ah! There it was, one of the reactions that I was expecting when I arrived here.

At first, I wanted to tell him that I wasn't going to hurt him, to ease his mind, and to show him not all vampires are the same. Then, I had other ideas.

I hopped up onto the bed, and crossed my legs, in a super fancy pose, or at least I hoped it was super fancy.

"I won't hurt you, if you do something for me."

He slowly looked up at me with huge brown eyes.

"I'll do anything! Just please, don't suck my blood!"

"Jump around and make dolphin noises."

To my utter surprise, because I really expected him to have a bit more pride than that, he started to jump around, causing the room to shake slightly, and noises started emitting from him, that sounded like a cross between a seal, and a horse.

"Okay, okay!" I waved my hand, "You can stop now."

If I had known his performance would be so embarrassing, especially for me, I would have never suggested it.

"So, you're not going to suck my blood?"

"I never was, anyway, I'm Porter Nightshade, and you are?"

"Turpy Turtledine." he stuck his hand out, which I shook.

"Wow!" he pulled his hand away and shook it, "You're cold, like really cold!"

"I haven't heard _that_ before before," I muttered.

"That's surprising! I guess you don't shake hands with a lot of people."

And I guess you don't understand the concept of sarcasm.

He was kind of right though, I didn't really come into much contact with other people.

"Yeah, I guess not."

"So, what class do you think you'll like the best here? I think I'll like transfiguration, I've always wanted to be someone different."

"Wouldn't it be better to use a polyjuice potion if you wanted to be someone different?"

This statement came from a boy who looked like he belonged on the cover of a magazine. He had olive skin, gelled back brown hair, and piercing green eyes. I was sure that he was the kind of guy that girls fainted over, and that he would probably grow up married with three mistresses on the side.

Model boy then turned his attention to me.

"I heard about you, you're the vampire right?"

"That seems to be the rumour."

"I'm Josh, Josh Sourdough, I plan on getting fantastic grades, and being the ultimate qudditch player!" he exclaimed, putting his hands on his hips, and puffing his chest out.

"My mum says I'm not allowed to play qudditch, she thinks it's too dangerous," Turpy said, plopping onto the bed across from the bed that I was laying on.

"For you or the broom?" Josh snorted.

I glared at him.

"That wasn't very nice."

"And tricking him to act like a complete idiot is nice?" Josh asked with his brow raised.

"Come on guys, let's just go to bed, we have a big day tomorrow," Turpy said in a small voice.

He sounded upset, and I felt a little bad for him. As I climbed into bed, I started to feel guilty about tricking him. I knew that I would have to make it up to him as soon as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay guys, listen up," Josh began, as he, Turpy, and myself prepared to go to the Great Hall.

"I think we should all walk in there together, as a composed group, to let everyone else know that we're going to be the ones that they need to befriend to be of any significance in terms of the social ladder."

"Wow! I can't believe I'm actually going to be part of the popular group!" Turpy gasped.

"Sounds good to be," I said, making my way between Josh and Turpy. I would be in the middle, after all, I was probably the most interesting one out of the three of us.

"Hey? What are you doing?" I demanded as Josh started to worm himself in between myself and Turpy.

"I'm going in the middle, after all, I'm the best looking, the most talented, and it was my idea."

I blocked him with my hip, before he could go any further.

"I don't think so, if you're in the middle, only a few people will stop to look at us, but if I'm in the middle, all eyes will be on us, I am after all, a rarity here."

I wasn't sure if that were true, I mean, no one really noticed me at the sorting ceremony, and if it was because they were too excited about getting sorted, then they might be too excited about their first official day to notice me as well.

I couldn't let Josh win though! It seemed like he got everything handed to him on a golden platter but not this time.

"Uh guys? I have an idea, how about I stand in the middle? I mean, you two are roughly the same height, but I'm shorter, if I'm in the middle, it will look symmetrical."

Josh and I stopped trying to push each other out of the way, to focus on Turpy.

"Um, you in the middle? We want people to look at us, not look away in disgust when the first thing their eyes hit is you!" Josh exclaimed.

"Harsh man," I told Josh, as Turpy's eyes filled with tears.

Josh didn't say anything, he just shrugged in response.

"Come on guys, I don't have all day to wait around," a girl wearing a prefect badge said. She had blonde pig tails, but despite her youthful hairstyle, her face looked stern and ridgid, and I could even see the beginnings of wrinkles on the corners of her mouth.

"Why don't we alternate? Like, to begin, one of us starts in the middle, we get halfway there, then we switch to the next person, and finally, we switch just before we walk into the Great Hall," I suggested.

Josh tapped his chin.

"That hardly seems fair, I mean, the last person will barely have any walking time in the middle."

"Yes, but they're the ones that everyone is going to see enter."

"That is true."

"I think it's a grand idea!" Turpy exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

"Well, I'm going to be the one who walks into the Great Hall, called it!" Josh exclaimed quickly.

"Okay Turpy, you go in the middle first," I said, moving a bit to give him space between Josh and me.

"Oh boy, this is so exciting!" he squealed as we walked out of the common room together.

When we got half-way there, or what I guessed was half-way, we switched. As soon as I stepped into the middle, I felt my nerves flare up. I looked around to make sure no one was looking at me. Thankfully, they seemed to be immersed in the wonders of the talking portraits, and all that.

"You okay? You look like you're about to hurl," Josh snorted.

"I-I'm fine."

Ugh, why did I think this was a good idea?

Fortunately, by the time we rounded the corner, I was still in one piece, and no one had even looked our way.

"I think this will be a good place to switch," Josh said, already making his move.

I could have argued, but I was too eager to get the spotlight off of me, I didn't know what possessed me to even want it there in the first place.

"Why is no one looking at us?" Josh asked through clenched teeth, as we made our way into the Great Hall.

"It seems like they're too interested in their meal," Turpy said.

He was right, everyone seemed to be buried to their necks in pancakes, waffles, sausages, and probably just about every breakfast food you could think of.

"So you're telling me, that I came up with a genius plan, only to have it overshined by food?" Josh screeched.

That caused a lot of people to look our way, which Josh smiled about.

"Oh my gosh, that's the vampire kid, do you think the vampire bit him?" I heard a girl ask from the Hufflepuff table.

Unlike mostly everyone here, I had pretty good hearing. As well as having good reflexes, I was faster, stronger, and more durable than my other peers. I wasn't bragging or anything, it's just how it is.

"Don't be dumb Clara! He's not even bleeding," another Hufflepuff girl said.

"Yeah, well, maybe he has burning saliva that cauterized the wound!" Clara retorted.

Hmm, that would be nice, and it would save a lot of mess. That was, if I drank from human hosts. Most of the blood I drank came from bottles, which people willingly donated.

"Come on, we have to act like we own this place, we can't just stand here looking like we don't know what's going on," Josh hissed.

He was right. I started walking with him and Turpy, away from the conversation between the two girls, and towards a plate full of delicious food, sadly, I would be eating none of it.


End file.
